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The Disease To Please

The Disease To Please
作者:Harriet B. Braiker
副标题:Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome
出版社:McGraw-Hill
出版年:2002-02
ISBN:9780071385640
行业:其它
浏览数:6

内容简介

What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty! "A fascinating book...If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"--Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage. Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery. Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome. As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

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作者简介

哈丽雅特·布莱克

有逾25年的执业临床心理医生和管理顾问经验。她创作了许多畅销的心理自助类书籍,包括纽约《时代》杂志的畅销书《取悦症:不懂拒绝的老好人》和《谁在操纵你》等。

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目录

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读书文摘

此外条件思维是一个陷阱,会让你陷入自责和反唇相击。如果你坚持"只要你对别人足够好,别人就会对你好"的虚假逻辑,那么当别人让你失望时,你就只能自责了。

"好"是取悦者的心里盔甲。在你心灵深处,你相信当好人能让你赢得别人的喜爱,能保护你免受刻薄、拒绝、愤怒、冲突、批评以及反对的伤害。但是,当你跟另一个人有了消极的相处经历(这是我们人生的一部分,是不可避免的),你的思维方式会让你感到自责。这是因为在取悦于人的心态中,如果你遭到了拒绝或收到了伤害,你会认为原因是自己不够好。这种想法跟于己不利的沮丧只有一线之割。

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