This timely book not only helps readers free themselves from controlling people but also seeks to explain the occurrence of verbal abuse, battering, stalking, harassment, hate crimes, gang violence, tyranny, terrorism, and territorial invasion.
What the author calls a "compelling force" overcomes these controllers; because they sense the overwhelming "psychic pain, distress, and discord permeating the world," they must impose a twisted kind of order on their friends, lovers, and acquaintances. Often people with good intentions end up doing the opposite of what they would need to do to realize a goal or fulfill a need. 352 pages. Softcover. 2002.
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帕萃丝·埃文斯,加拿大埃文斯人际关系研究中心创始人。在全美建立了许多工作室,著述颇丰。其处女作《口头侵害关系》,被《新闻周刊》誉为一次“根本性的突破”。
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如果控制着成功的对某个人下了定义,那个人至少会失去自我感觉,进而失去一些自由。如果人们依据别人的评价,而不是自己的体验做出选择,他们就会在生活中处处碰壁。当人们失去了自我感觉,别人的闲言碎语,就开始塑造着他的自我认知。“我想我过于敏感了。我到底哪里出了问题?”
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